Let us return to the continuing adventures of Gandolf Foogray, Gibley, Filden, and Marine the Hobik.
    Last year at this time, The Fellowship of the Ring was bootlegged to DVD overseas and the subtitles, which went through an English > Chinese > English translation, were laugh out loud funny. The same has happened to The Two Towers, and this site has screen grabs of the best of these subtitles — such mindboggling quotes as Gollum’s “Great to be sneeve”, Aragorn’s “U R my heart” l33t-speak, Sam’s poetic “To taitose mashem taken twist you”, and Gimli’s questionable and troubling “Bring your pussy face to my ass”.

Hey look, we’re going to be famous. I just found out the new Evil Dead videogame (“Fistful of Boomstick” coming soon from THQ [for X-Box and PlayStation2]) takes place in none other than Dearborn, Michigan (whence I’m writing this now)! The screen grabs almost kinda vaguely look like Deaborn — but I did notice one […]

From The Register: “A Brit living and working in the US has been sacked from his job for running a blog.”     And…oh…by the way…apropos of nothing…if my boss happens to see this…when the time stamp says 1:52 PM, it’s actually…really…more like…8:52 PM. …Okay? It’s a time zone thing…or something.

I am actually still at work, despite the ridiculously late hour. And, fighting off boredom if not delirium, I’ve found needed diversion in the many quizzes found at In Flash.com.
    They are quite entertaining, although the spelling is sometimes atrocious. Not to mention the fact that question 14 of the Star Wars quiz is wrong as are questions 3 (debatable) and 4 of “Name That Movie Star”.

I have two new role models. In a time where stupidity and crudity seem to be celebrated, I am thrilled to learn about these two inspirational people.
    My first hero is Patricia Heaton, costar of Everybody Loves Raymond, who, disgusted by what she saw at ABC’s American Music Awards, refused to go onstage and participate with the show’s hosts, the Osbournes. “”I’m no prude, but this was such a vulgar and disgusting show,” says Heaton, quoted in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “What was passing for humor basically ranged from stupid to vulgar, and I just thought, ‘I’m not going to be part of this.’ So I walked out.” I wish a lot more people would follow her example and walk away from the Osbournes — especially, hopefully, the crew that tapes their show.
    My other hero is U.S. District Judge Robert Sweet. Today he dismissed the suit which alleges fat people are too stupid to know eating fast food is fattening. This suit claims that McDonald’s does not inform customers how unhealthy their food is, apparently ignoring the signs which say such information is available on request and is also sometimes printed on their paper placemats. Their stupidity is a black eye to right-thinking fat people everywhere — who have enough physical problems to be self-conscious about already, thank you very much. Judge Sweet rightly points out that “nobody is forced to eat at McDonald’s.” And McDonald’s spokesman Walt Riker rightly adds “Common sense has prevailed.”
    Bless both these great American heroes.

They love it to such an extent that the site has become too popular. Mondays are the worst, when Strong Bad’s latest e-mail is unveiled. Today was particularly bad, since traffic was so great the site has been knocked offline. The Message Bored is still up, but I haven’t seen the homepage for several hours.
    In the interest of helping out those who might not have been able to see this week’s e-mail, I am mirroring it here. This is a blatant breach of copyright and is extremely naughty, but I do it with good intentions and will remove the link and the files once H*R is back up and running.
    Update: Yay! Homestar Runner.com is back up and running. The Flash animation I was mirroring has been removed, and the link above now points to its official location. A nicely informative explanation of the outage can be found here.   [01/22/03 5:32 PM]

It must seem like I have a grudge against this movie, since I pick on it so much. I swear I don’t — in fact, I’m probably overly obsessed by it. But the thing is, I discovered another goof-up in The Two Towers. First it was last year’s car in the cornfield. Most recently, it was finding out Liv Tyler showing up at Helm’s Deep. And now, I just spotted a bit of film equipment showing up in a battle scene.
    Any film is bound to have mistakes and continuity errors, and it’s a testament to the filmmakers that a movie as ambitious as The Lord of the Rings doesn’t have more. That said, pay close attention to the bottom left corner of this movie clip. You can plainly see the lens flags of a secondary camera as it dollies out of shot.

So is it possible to give the flu to yourself? I thought I only had a migraine yesterday morning, but when the discomfort started traveling south last night I suspected it was something more insidious. I haven’t done much more than work and sleep this week — and I work in a small, isolated room — so it seems quite bizarre that I could develop some strain of self-activating flu. Unless, of course, I was infected by one of the fast-food places listed to the right (McDonalds, Burger King, or KFC), which, if so, could be even more fodder for those class action lawsuits.
    Thankfully I’m starting to feel better now. I’m sounding less like an eighty-year-old Jewish man when I get out of a chair. I’m still looking foward to spending the entire weekend sleeping, though.
    Incidentally, this week’s E-mail of the Week is from dan@knakedtraffic.com, who presents the conundrum “Naked News at 50% off”.

At least 47 million American adults — or more than one in five — have a disorder that often includes a beer belly, high blood pressure, poor cholesterol readings and high blood sugar, according to a new study.
      The disorder, called metabolic syndrome, has been recognized since at least the 1920s. It is not a single disease but a cluster of health problems, and despite its name, does not necessarily mean a person’s metabolism is defective.
    Though experts say the syndrome may be caused by a combination of lifestyle and genes, habits such as overeating and a lack of exercise are probably the most important factors, said Dr. Earl Ford of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta.
    Ford led the study, published today in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
    Metabolic syndrome greatly increases the risk of diabetes, heart attacks and stroke. The disorder often features a disproportionate amount of abdominal fat — the so-called beer belly — as well as elevated blood pressure, blood sugar and triglycerides, or fats that circulate in the blood, and low levels of HDL, the good kind of cholesterol.
    The CDC analyzed data from 8,814 men and women who participated in a 1988-94 health survey.
    Though about 22 percent of U.S. adults were calculated to have the syndrome, rates range from 6.7 percent among those in their 20s to 43.5 percent of adults in their 60s. The rates among men and women were 24 percent and 23.4 percent, respectively. Personally, this brings my tally of known disorders to three.
    From the Associated Press by way of The Detroit Free Press

Apart from my purchase of a DVD±RW burner, this is a pretty big news story in my short fat world. Remember when we found out the role of Arwen would be expanded in The Lord of the Rings movies? There was talk she would be a “warrior princess”, that she would fight alongside Aragorn at Helm’s Deep. Many purists, myself included, were horrified at the thought that this mostly unseen character in the book would be so drastically altered. But then it was explained that this was a concept from the old Miramax days and had since been abandoned.
    Nevertheless, Liv Tyler would talk in interviews about how she had taken fight lessons, or a call sheet would be uncovered which showed she had been on the set for that sequence. Most recently Brian Sibley, author of the movie’s companion books, mentioned he’d heard the computer artists at Weta Digital talking about digitally removing Arwen from Helm’s Deep. At first he thought this was a joke, but now it looks like they might have been quite serious. The Council of Elrond.com (by way of The One Ring.net) has spotted Arwen in some freeze-frames from the climactic charge at Helm’s Deep.

http://www.theonering.net/perl/newsview/2/1042493150   [11:23 AM]

    Update: What can I say — I was bored. I created this animation of the scene in question. It’s been rumored that Arwen was converted into Legolas in some shots, so perhaps the reason Arwen may show up here (in this 400KB RealVideo file) is because Legolas is in the same shot.